Hey Dr. Gnitz!
”Guy” plus “knits” equals “gnitz”! Hey Dr. Gnitz! is a service by hAMImono to provide quick, concise answers for those knitting questions that fall into the grey zones between knitting ideal and knitting practice, between obsessed knit newbies and their knit-browed relations, between carpel tunnel syndrome and knit nirvana. Based on a keen eye, nimble knitty fingers, serious over-education, and years of telling other people what to do, Dr. Gnitz attempts to answer all quiries with gnitwit and wisdom. Stay tuned to this page to enjoy regular Hey Dr. Gnitz! questions, or interact by sending your quizzications to Dr. Gnitz at hami.monoATyahoo.com (unless you’re a spambot, change that AT to an @!). The doctor is in!
August 20, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! I’m a compulsive sock knitter, even while driving. I know I won’t have an accident but what should I do if the police yell “hey, pull over!” at me? Sedan Stitcher
Well, Sedan, just yell back “no . . . socks!”D.G.
May 7, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! Check this out: “Ah’m a kool kool knit-tah and mah needles they do glit-tah, but my life is in da shit-tah so ah’m startin’ tuh feel bit-tah!” So, bro, what do ya think of my new knit rap? Da Yarn Varlot
Well, Da, I think ya rap’s a stink-ah. D.G.
May 6, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! My cat always grabs at the yarn and tangles it all up while I am knitting. Is there any way I can fix this problem? What should I do with this cat to curb this behavior once and for all? Knot Happy
Well, Knot, I’ve heard that curiosity is effective. D.G.
May 5, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! My feet always seem to ache or go numb after I’ve been knitting for a while. Got any suggestions? Monkey Sox
Well, Monkey, you might try knitting with your hands. D.G.
May 4, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! My friend just gave me a bag of old forgotten yarns from her back closet. I was thrilled! Lots of strange and interesting yarns. Nice friend, eh? But, after rewinding tangled skeins and misshapen balls on my ball winder, I wasn’t so sure. It came to light that, In various degrees, some of the yarns stunk. One ball was outright moldy smelling. Several were iffy/musty. One seemed to have been peed on by a territorial tomcat. As a knitter on a budget, how can I resuscitate these yarns? String Cheese
Well, String, you are to be commended for your tendency toward recycling. Here’s what I would do. Easy stuff first. For the merely musty, I would re-skein, tie a ribbon or string around at top and bottom, then shake the skein(s) in a plastic bag filled with half a box of baking soda (with optional 2 drops of lavender or rosemary essence). Shake out well in backyard and hang in fresh air on sunny day for an afternoon. Voila! For moldy, I would re-skein, rinse in cool water with a half lemon, air dry for a day or two, then the baking soda steps. Done and done. As for the feline urine repository, I would say, let it go. It will never, even among the laxer element, pass muster. Do not question this: your yarn standards already challenge the mainstream. D.G.
April 29, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! “Balls”, “WIP”, ”Stitchin’ & Bitchin’”, “Frigging”: what’s with all the sexy language among knitters? The Wool Puller
Well, Wool, first of all, that’s “frogging.” To your inquiry, you may have noticed that there are, mainly, two ways that humans occupy the many long hours between birth and death. One of them is knitting. D.G.
May 17, 2008
Hey Dr. Gnitz! I really enjoy knitting but am so slow. I want to knit more quickly. Any tips? Stitch Slug
Well, Slug, I have a few suggestions but they are nothing new. Knit a lot. Know your knit pattern (preview pattern, mentally think through the project). Consider the painstaking process of switching from English to Continental style. This is universally deemed speedier. Consider your needles; nickel-plated circs like Skacel Addi Turbos may quicken the pace. Practice on yarns with memory that are not “splitty.” Finally, put on music/podcast and get into a groove. If you can get into that zone where you “become one” with your knitting, then surely you will knit like the wind. D.G.
